Wednesday 29 May 2013

I could disappear

There have been what seem like infinite moments into which
I could have disappeared
in fact I think I did
pockets of time hung on the air in numerous locations
in the hearts of nations that span the globe
out among fields or in barren territories
on hot currents rising or frozen into stillness
on a Baltic shore so tossed and mussed by winds
and peppered by the salt air that crystallisation without
the possibility of erosion seems improbable
a myth.
For a moment
that captures a version of myself
to be fixed and hung on the air in this
random anyplace
this is nonsensical.
But there have been what seem like infinite moments
into which I could have disappeared.
And at each of those seemingly potentially infinite
moments
I wasn't so far away
There was no other reality
And if I was going to disappear
Or become a statue
Or shrink into a grain of dust and hang forever
more in a space among the air
Then that place
Where I was eating a banana
or cursing somebody
or running the sand between my toes
or splashing water on my face
That was the only place for me
That place that now seems like some alien land
Inhabited by a strange and infinitely stupid version
of myself
And just as I was once there
Ready to disappear in complete forgetfulness
I could now fold away into nothing among the air of this place
As far from home or anywhere else
as any other place I've ever been.

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