Sins in the First Draft

First Draft Messages: to be posted under the line of articles where the sad transgressions of others have been revealed

• I agree wholeheartedly that everything [insert name here] has done is reprehensible. He always did seem [creepy/like a proto-fascist...] to me. 
• We must live in fear. There is no escape. Whatever you did, well, against that rough shit your face’s gonna scrape.
• Above the clouds of Internet sit presiding judges with the cleanest records you've ever seen. In fact it’s possible that they have no past whatsoever, and have therefore never made a mistake.
• The presiding judges of the Internet have lived in isolation among the caves and deserts of the saints and prophets. There they cultivated a fine taste for the distinctions in life. They sniff out slurs in ancient texts; tease out the tricky lines from traditional songs. They bathe in irony-proofing waters and drink down serious grog to sleep at night.     
• Why write at all? Best simply take yourself off somewhere to reflect on the problematic thoughts you once accidentally dreamt up. "It's never crossed my mind" they say when asked if they've considered convention. They deign to smile benignly on us. Then they join hands and walk away from the vile desires that lay us, the damned, out on the rack.
• I have sinned. I have sinned. How can I project to you, oh mother of all that is holy on the Internet, the joy I feel at the scorn you pour on me?