53 - Comment: Santa's Arrest

An End to the Lies
POSTED BY AUDREY WALLACE 
21st October 2013

For generations children have lived in fear of a mythical figure, being told to behave well lest they incur its wrath. We have done away with so much that is superstitious and unscientific in our society, but Santa Claus remains at the heart of our communities like a rotting hunk of deception. As long as children are brought up to think that they must go to bed at a certain time, or obey certain instructions in order to please a far away man who will reward their good behaviour with toys then we will continue to raise wrong-headed slefish little idiots. Let's liberate our young ones from the bonds of these lies. Let's move on and leave the lies behind us.
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Can the Health and Safety Brotherhood Be Trusted?
POSTED BY COLIN BATCHELL 
23rd October 2013

Over the past six months, while the Health and Safety Brotherhood have been on the rise, there have been many alarming moments. Even supporters of the movement have found it hard to justify every move made by the radical group. Overhwelmingly, they have met with resistance. Until this week, however, no single moment had caused nationwide riots.

This movement, born in resistance to old fashioned values, with progress for all as their aim, has encountered a lot of opposition and yet its leaders vow to go on...
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The Simple Truth About Santa's Arrest
POSTED BY ADRIAN DAVIDSON
23rd October 2013

We live, let’s imagine, in a city where children are unable to receive gifts of any kind. The good news is that the cause of this problem is well understood and its solution, a storehouse of second hand toys, is easily at hand. The bad news is that our city council has been taken over by a health and safety cult that will go to any lengths to keep this cure for boredom from our kids. Some citizens would doubtless point out meekly that health and safety has a strong history in our city, and we must regard the officials with respect—to do otherwise would show a lack of respect for their freedom to ensure our safety.

Meanwhile, most of us—every sane person in the city, actually—would tell the officials to go to hell, put off worrying about the Problem of Risk till Friday or Saturday or Sunday, and do everything we could to get as many toys to the kids as quickly we could.

How have we let the officials at the very top of the tree get so power mad that they think they can remove Father Christmas from our lives? Let's take back what is ours, let's not allow our children to grow up in a joy-less world.

His Already Fading Influence

POSTED BY THEO LAPAVITAS

24th October 2013

Father Christmas may no longer rule Christmas, but his spirit will continue to be the driving force behind our celebrations. There is barely a family in the world that hasn't taken inspiriation from his jolly face.

Still, for my money, one looks to Father Christmas for the gifts: over 500 million produced yearly. Take his production line away and you'll cut off his influence. In a year or two children will stop caring about him. Memories will fade. His legacy could be lost. We're powerless to do anything about it but I for one will mourn his loss.
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