Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Choking on Cuteness: Japanese Cuisine Edition

Japan is a land of cuteness. With Hello Kitty on a throne of joy, the nation worships the fluffy, as well as the wacky, things in life. 

They have rabbit-infested islands:

Rodent-plagued Okunoshima has inexplicably become a trourist trap.

Cosplay flourishes:

Not a still from Lolitta-inspired surreal dystopian-nightmare porno 'Sailor Moon'.

Cartoons abound:

Nyanpire and the gang

I have nothing against cartoons, rabbits or cosplayers. Cutesy Japanese stuff is generally harmless and occasionally fascinating. One thing that the obsession with cuteness does sometimes inhibit, however, is the enjoyment of food. "Hold on, hold on" scream the idiots, having just served you some fine food. "We've got to get a picture!" Luckily, few have resorted to documenting their visits to the toilet, although, in the interests of fairness, before and after shots would be fitting.

While living in Taiwan, which has absorbed a lot of Japanese influence, I noticed that there was a lot of overtly cute food. Vegetables and tofu alike are carved into shapes to resemble something that isn't food, something supposedly lovelier than food. (Is pig-shaped bacon better than normal bacon? Is it?).

Anyway, the pictures below demonstrate that Japan is the undisputed world capital of Cute Cuisine. I present to you:

Pandas gorging themselves on curry:

Greedy bastards! No wonder they're never up for it.

Cat's gone fishing:

What a forlorn-looking mog.
Taken just prior to murder.

The "that's actually quite an impressive depiction of Chewbacca":

Now that Disney owns the rights to Star Wars, is there more or less chance of a copyright infringment case being brought against some cuteness-worshipping noodle vendor?

"Waiter, there's a hair in my... hold on a minute!"

Polar bear in a hot spring:

Come on, for a piece of raddish, that looks quite a lot like a polar bear.

Would you eat it?

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